Goodbye My Lover, Goodbye My Friend
by GEM8
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER IS UP ! Laura and Bill face cold hard reality. They learn to love life and each other, live for each other and how to let go. AR
1. Chapter 1

Title: Good-bye My Lover, Good-bye My Friend

Date written: 8/31/06

Rated: M

Word count: 9,242

Story Timeline: Season 2

Category: Drama

Warnings: Tissues may be needed

Characters: Roslin/Adama

Summary: Bill and Laura learn to love, life and how to let go.

Spoiler: season 2

Author's note: This is my A/R fic exchange piece. I hope you enjoy. I don't do angst well. I think it is important for me to point out that this is **an AU piece.** A million thank yous go to my wonderful beta Amanda. The story was written for nnaylime

Chapter 1

How do you know if you truly love someone? Bill Adama had been faced with that question many times in his life. When he tried to answer it he always failed miserably. Today standing in front of her he knew he wouldn't fail again. No this time, he was going to be honest, this time he was going to pay attention to every detail. This time it was going to be different because he knew he was truly in love. He was in love with Laura Roslin.

---

She knew she was dying. She couldn't stop it sometimes the Gods can be so cruel. She stands in front of him weeping in happiness because he's alive. She's been trying to find happiness all of her life. It's taken her mother's own battle with cancer, a semi-failed political career, a definitely failed affair a military coup, and an assassination attempt but she knows she finally found it. She found it only to have it taken away from her again.

---

They had worked together the last few weeks to repair the rift their actions caused within the fleet and they had been successful but the work wasn't done yet.

Laura was simply a beautiful woman; there was no other way to describe it. She was sitting on his couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table reading some report that Billy left for her. Bill just sat in the chair across from her doing the same, sneaking glances over at her whenever he could she was breath taking and he had to wonder what he did to deserve her. Conversely he wondered what he did to have to Gods take her away from him.

"William Adama, what are you staring at?" She smiled seductively at him. She knew full well what he was staring at but if he wanted anything he would have to make the first move tonight.

_Busted_ he rose from his chair, smile across his face and slid on the couch next to her. He turned her around in his arms he could look deep into her sea foam eyes. "I'm staring at the most beautiful person in the universe." He tilted her chin up and kissed her lovingly.

Mmmmh, Bill." Laura broke the kiss breathless. "I have to finish this for the Quorum meeting tomorrow, gesturing to the report resting on her lap."

"Really, that's a shame. I had this whole big plan about how I was going to seduce you and take to my bed." Bill smiled wide. "But if you rather, I guess I can…"

Laura tossed the report to the floor and wrapped her arms around Bill, drawing him into another passionate kiss. They broke apart breathless yet again but this time it was Laura's turn to smile. "That can definitely wait." She said nodded her head towards the file. "Now, Commander show me just how much you really love me."

---

Laura woke up later that evening, in Bill's arms. Their clothes had been haphazardly discarded in a trail from the sofa to his rack but as she lay in his warm embrace she couldn't stop the tears from sneaking to her eyes- betraying her. This was all so cruel. She finally found her true love and her body was giving up on her. Bill and her had taken their relationship slow at first. Now they were spending every possible moment together. They truly had become one person she had never experienced this until she met Bill. She rolled into her pillow to muffle her cries but she was unsuccessful. The moment she began to weep. She felt his strong arms pull her back to him and his husky voice whispering soothing comments into her ears. Laura calmed almost immediately hearing the sound of his voice and feeling his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Bill, so sorry."

Bill tilted her head so he could look in her eyes, "You don't have to apologize. Are you in pain? Do you want me to get your pills?" Bill moved to get up but Laura held on to him. He turned to face her.

"No." She answered while he brushed her tears away. "Just hold me, please. I need to know you're here."

"When do you see Doc Cottle?"

"Tomorrow."

Do you want me to come with you?"

"No Bill. I have to do this alone. I don't expect you to understand it's just something I have to do." Laura slid down and learned against his chest.

Bill kissed her on the top of the head "Okay."

She fell asleep listening to the sound of his heartbeat. Praying to whatever Gods would listen to give her more time."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Apparently the Gods didn't believe in more time. Laura looked up from the file Jack Cottle handed to her, her hand were still shaking "How long do I have?"

Cottle's expression was grim and it was obvious he himself was having a difficult time with this. "Weeks, a month at the outside."

"Will I be able to work?"

"If the cancer doesn't go to your brain. If that happens…"

Laura just nodded. Jack looked lost to her almost helpless. He was and she knew he never liked to be that way.

"Laura. Where's Bill?" Cottle wasn't about to ask her why he wasn't here he knew how secretive they had to be.

"CIC."

"Do you want me to call…"

"No, thank you. I need to be alone for a while."

Cottle just grunted. He hated that there was nothing he could do. "If I may offer some advice. Don't shut him out. Let him help you to the end. He'll want to do that don't push him away."

"Thank you, Doctor."

---

She wandered the corridors for a while after leaving sickbay and found herself in front of the memorial wall on the way back to Bill's quarters. She couldn't help but think about her life before the cylon attack and what she'd accomplished. It seemed trivial now. This was her new life and one thing was for certain. She had risen to challenges that Richard Adar never thought possible and she found the meaning of true love.

_Caprica before the Cylon attack._

"Why don't you think I should do that to him Laura? He's ruined my political career." Richard Adar was running around the hotel room trying to get ready for the fundraiser. "Have you seen my tie?"

"Laura was standing at the sink fixing her blouse. "I don't mean to sound arrogant Richard but you are the one having an affair. You're son made a mistake and he and his girlfriend made a choice.

Richard came up behind her and put his arms around her kissing her neck. "I'm the President I'm running for reelection it doesn't look good. I knew I should've signed that executive order when I had the chance.

Laura pushed him away disgusted by his comments. "Excuse me. I didn't just hear you say that. You would rather you sixteen year-old son and his sixteen year old girlfriend be forced to have a baby that they can't possibly take care of than make an educated choice about whether they can really handle it. All because it's better for your political career!"

"Laura honey, that is not…" 

Don't you dare Laura honey me you arrogant bastard. This is exactly the reason I joined the protest marches when I was in college and have lobbied for a complete sex education curriculum instead of the abstinence only agenda being pushed by the religion groups. I have fought and will continue to fight for kids like James and Kassie, for women everywhere because they deserve to be able to have that choice."

Richard just stood there and watched her make her case. "It's just not morally right."

Laura couldn't help but laugh, albeit sarcastically. "And what we're doing is morally right? You're having an affair with a cabinet secretary Richard. Me in case you've forgotten."

Richard couldn't resist her when she got like this her anger just was such a turn on. He snuck up behind her and pulled down on the bed. "I haven't forgotten, Secretary Roslin. Richard leaned down and gave her a passionate kiss."

Laura broke the kiss almost as it began. "Get away from me Richard. This is dangerous we have to stop. This will put and end to both are careers faster the James and Kassie."

Richard didn't say anything in response to Laura's comments. He just offered her his smug look as if to tell her _'no one can touch me, not even you.'_

Laura got up off the bed and slipped on her shoes, she stopped at the mirror and fixed her blouse once again before slipping out of the hotel room

---

Laura looked up at the memorial wall still thinking about that night with Richard. That was the first time she realized he didn't really love her that he was using her for sport. That was the day she decided she would end it.

Laura continued to walk down the corridor and back to the warmth and comfort of Bill Adama's quarters to prepare herself mentally for the Quorum meeting. Instead of preparing for her meeting she spent the time reflecting, crying really, it was finally sinking in this was the end. She looked around Bill's quarters, everything reminded her of him. His desk was covered with papers, the bookshelves, and his pictures. They had spent endless nights talking about Lee and Zak Bill had already lost so much. She couldn't allow him to lose more but she couldn't stop her own death. She couldn't make the process any less painful for either of them. She looked up at the photo on the corner of his desk. It used to be one of Lee and Zak but now it was one of her. The customary picture of the boys had been moved to the other side. She had taken over the prominent spot now and he made sure she knew that. He loved her and she loved him back, there was nothing fake about it. This was real and true and it broke her heart to think of him now.

---

Bill Adama walked back to his quarters. Laura's shuttle was ready to take her to Cloud Nine and he needed to speak to her before she left. He had been preoccupied with her all morning. She hadn't slept last night and she was looking thinner everyday. It was clear that her health was not improving. When she had finally fallen asleep pressed up against his chest. He spent time thinking about her, about them and was for the first time able to cry his own tears. It had taken him years, two marriages to finally understand what it meant to love someone unconditionally and now she was being taken away from him.

He stepped through the open door and watched as she collected her things. "You're shuttle ready."

"Thank you, Commander."

Bill's heart sank. She was using his professional title that was never a good sign. She had been more open with him in private but today she was hiding behind professionalism.

"Oh, I've been meaning to give this back to you." Laura held out _Dark Day_.

"This was a gift."

"I know never lend books but I've had it far too long. It belongs in your collection."

Bill stood speechless for a few moments and watched her. It was as if she was saying good-bye. "Laura, what did Jack say?"

Laura tensed up. Apparently he had read the signs she tried so hard to cover up. "Ah, I'm fine." She said her back to his. She was fighting tears and not very well." She tried to make a run for the door but he was too fast for her and pulled her against him. He held her as she shook with violent tears.

"It's not fair!!!!!"

Bill had a hard time holding in his own tears when she said that so he cried his own tears with her and for her. She was right. It most certainly wasn't fair.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Bill Adama was alone. He sat on his couch with a glass of ambrosia in hand. He had been nursing it since she left. _Weeks, maybe a month_, that was what they had left. He honestly wasn't sure if it was possible for him to go on without her. Oh, he knew he would have to for her but he wouldn't be the same man. He knew that part of him would die with her. She was the reason he was alive to begin with. It was her and her alone. She had given him a reason to live the day the cylons attacked. She had added to that list of reasons since. She had a sense of humor like no other woman he had ever known; she was one hell of a card player and companion. She had led such a sad life losing her father and sisters, having to raise herself, she began as teacher, then a politician and watched her mother die. She deserved better than this. Bill downed the glass and poured another. Laura alone had shown him how to live again, how to love again and he wasn't going to give her up without a fight.

---

Laura was speechless; she stepped away from the crowd. The crew had given her a memorial to her life. 

"They wanted to do that for you?"

His voice was so soothing.

"It's very nice. Bill could we get out of here."

"Sure."

He put a hand on the small of her back and led her out of the hanger deck. The walk back to his quarters was silent. Once they were inside and out of view Laura took off her jacket and shoes and sat on the couch. Bill followed suit.

"Did you want something to eat?"

"No, thank you. How are you holding up Bill?"

Bill took her hand and brought it up to his lips "I'm fine."

"Lair." Laura offered softly. If she had learned one thing about Bill Adama it was when he was silent he was in pain and he had hardly said a word since they left the hanger deck. "You know we still have time Bill."

"Not enough my love, not nearly enough." There was the break she was expecting. He sounded as if he were half of himself. Laura stood up and moved to sit on his lap. She held him close as he cried and she cried with him. "I've been through this once…I never thought I would have to go through it again." He confessed wiping his eyes.

Bill confession peaked Laura's curiosity. She thought she knew most everything about William Adama but apparently she didn't. Before she could ask him about it he went on. Laura listened intently. She would bring up the subject later.

"I don't know if I can bear watching you leave me. I'm sorry Laura. I'm the one who's supposed to be strong for you."

"You have been." Laura replied wiping fresh tears away from his eyes and hers. She kissed him and held him tight. "We just have to make the most of the time we have left. I expect you to take care of the fleet so don't just sit at my bedside and wallow in sorrow when my time comes."

Bill always knew that when the time came there would be a lot that would have to be done. He would be the leader that the fleet looked to for strength and direction. The Vice President was weak at best and the transition would be rocky, there was also the ever-present threat of the cylons to deal with but when the time came, some how and some way he would be there by her side. She wouldn't die alone.

"Laura." Adama looked down into her eyes. "I will be there. You will not be alone do you understand me. I will be with you. I love you and you will not be alone. I will find away that I promise you."

---

Over the next few weeks Laura and Bill did everything together. Her workload was scaled back to allow for enough time for rest. They two of them used this time to embrace life. When she had meetings on the Cloud Nine. He would meet her there and walk in the arboretum. It wasn't quite the river walk in Caprica City but it was close enough. These times allowed the two of them to relax and escape the reality of the situation.

The romantic moments were bittersweet at times especially the breaks during the last Quorum session. Bill had been watching the session and noticed that she looked fatigued today, more than usual, her hands and legs were shaky and she was pale. They hadn't seen each other the pervious night so he didn't have a chance to talk with her. When the meeting finally recessed, he exited the hall and went to their meeting place.

"Billy, I have to meet a friend?"

"Yes, ma'am." Billy responded with a knowing smile as he helped her out of the Quorum chamber. "Are you sure you're up for this." Billy asked concern in his voice.

"Yes." Laura winced as another wave of pain overtook her. The pain had been getting worse. She had done well hiding it from Bill so far but knew it would be impossible today.

Bill rushed over to Laura when he saw her approaching with Billy. "Laura, my gods, are you sure you want to do this." She sat down at the small open-air café overlooking the arboretum. Billy nodded to the two leaders and took his post a discreet distance from Laura, with her security detail

Bill sat across from her at the small table covering her hands with his. "How long has it been like this?"

Laura did her best to smile but Bill could tell she was in pain. "Since last night although I have my good days and my bad days. I do think this will be our last one of these though I don't think I have the strength anymore."

That's all right my love. We can find other things."

"Do a dying woman a favor. Walk with me I want to walk in the sunlight one last time."

Bill looked up into the fake sky in an attempt to control his emotions. He then got up and walked over next to her chair and helped her to stand. She reminded him of Anne. She was light, frail, weak and slipping away and there was nothing he could do. He placed an arm around her waist and she leaned into him for support. As they walked along the path she laid her head against his strong body able to ignore the pain for a little while as she took her last walk in the sunlight.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Laura was busy with her presidential duties and was experiencing better days so she was taking advantage of the reprieve to see to some important issues regarding the impending transition of power. While she was concentrating on her office she was also not forgetting about a certain man who had changed her life. Bill Adama had become her beacon of hope in this dark time. She was having a difficult time separating herself from him. She didn't want to do it but she felt it would be easier in the long run. When she had decided to do so she sat in her room for hours by herself trying to put her thoughts down on paper. She needed to do this and she needed him to understand why she needed to finish this journey on her own.

Her intentions were not successful. Billy found her, alone, emotionally spent, shaking and crying with an unfinished letter in hand.

"You can't do this. It will only make things worse. He loves you don't see that. This will just isolate you. You need him. You need people that care for you, especially now. He cares for you."

Billy was firm but gentle in his convictions. Laura knew he would make and excellent politician one day and he was absolutely right. She needed all the help she could get right now and Bill was willing to give her that love and support. She was a fool not to take it.

---

They spent more time in his quarters away from the public and any physically demanding activities. Laura was more fatigued at night so they would talk and read together. Laura would lie on his couch and he would sit with her holding her legs in his lap and rub away the spasms that would overcome her. He would get her anything she needed. Bill was with her till the bitter end and that somehow gave her more strength. She also had an eerie feeling that he had been in this position before. He always knew exactly what she needed and when to give it to her.

Laura put the book down on her lap and squeezed her eyes in pain. Bill had seen this before. He abandoned his book, reached up and took her hand in his. "Just breathe Laura… Think of that peaceful place." He said in a soothing voice.

Bill could feel her body still tense against his. The pain was getting worse and the pain management wasn't working. His heart broke into pieces as he sat watching her face contort in pain. Doctor Cottle would have to give her stronger meds soon.

Laura loosened her grip on his hand and opened her eyes. Bill could see they were blurry with tears. "It's getting so bad. My Gods Bill I just want it to go away."

"Don't say that." He couldn't bear to hear her talk like that because he didn't want to think about losing her. Bill lifted her legs and stood up. He went into the head. When he returned he was carrying her painkillers and a glass of water. He knelt down next to her, placing the water on the coffee table. He helped her to sit up and handed her the pill. "Here."

"It'll put me to sleep." Laura stated weakly. She didn't want to go to sleep, when she slept that was less time she could spend with him."

"I'll be here when you wake-up. I'm not going anywhere." His voice was fraught with emotion as she took the pill and placed it in her mouth He then handed her the water.

"Thank you." After taking a sip Laura handed back the water glass with tears in her eyes. Bill took the glass and brushed the tears away. She caught his hand as he moved it away and looked into Bill eyes She was puzzled by his actions over the last few days. Granted they had been some of her worst to date and it seemed to her that he very practiced in this sort of situation. She had known he'd been hiding something and she was waiting for the right time to find out what it was. Her time was running short now seemed as good a time as any.

"You act as if you've done this before."

Adama let go of her hand and stood up. He helped her to get comfortable before lying beside her. He needed to hold her close. He needed to feel her. He needed to know she was still alive. She snuggled against his chest and started to play with his dog tags. "You haven't answered my question yet?"

Bill stared up at the ceiling. "I've done it before."

His response was a whisper Laura could barely hear it but it was laced with pain and sorrow. All of which she knew he was experiencing again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Laura asked her speech beginning to slur with sleep. This was the opportunity she had been looking since the day on Cloud Nine but she wasn't sure if Bill would talk about it.

"Not right now."

"I'll be here if you want to."

Bill pulled Laura closer to him resting his head against her neck. She held him close and the last thing she remembered before surrendering to sleep was the sensation of hot tears against her skin.

---

He loved to watch her sleep. She was so peaceful and the pain was gone. He could watch her for hours just like he used to watch Anne. Bill Adama couldn't take it anymore. He carefully untangled himself from her, getting up he walked into the head and closed the door. She had seen through his mask tonight. He would have to tell her that he had already lived through this nightmare. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. No that would be a lie. This was not the nightmare he had already lived this nightmare was totally new. He was losing the woman he loved and there was nothing he could do. Every time she screamed out in pain. He wanted to be the one in pain, to spare her the agony. Every time she had a coughing fit he couldn't help but think if it was finally the end. He couldn't stand watching her drift away. He shook in anger, fear and sorrow. He would cry tears for her when she wasn't around, just like he was doing now, with the door closed and the shower running to muffle the sounds escaping him. He couldn't cry in front of her he needed to be strong for her. Yes, he had cried with her but he was always in control. He was always the one there for her to comfort her but he was living a lie. He couldn't control himself anymore and there was no one there to comfort him to hold him when he cried for her, for them, for what they would never have together. Each day she woke up next to him he looked into her eyes and each day he realized there was one less day for them to live together. Each day the fire in her eyes grew a little dimmer and it shook him to the core and it tore him apart.

---

Today was a good day; Laura woke up and used Bill's head to take a shower while he was called away to the hanger bay. When she was done, she dressed and set about to organize her notes for their meeting about supply shortages in the fleet. She sat down and reviewed the report that had been discarded the evening before.

If today was a good day for her personally, professionally it was a firestorm. They needed supplies, and they needed them fast. She closed the folder and placed it on the coffee table in front of her.

"It's really that bad?"

Hearing his voice made her smile inside but didn't change her outward expression. "These people need supplies Bill, they can't live on hope alone."

"I know." Adama stepped inside and walked into the head. He turned on the water. "We will find some soon, we have raptors out scouting locations."

He washed his hands and then walked across the room to sit with her. "How are you feeling today?" 

Laura smiled. "I'm just fine today thank you Admiral and thank for last night."

"Any time. Should we get down to business?" Adama quickly turned from lover and friend to Admiral and military leader. Their meeting was fraught with interruptions but they felt as if they where making progress. Then the klaxons sounded and Lieutenant Gatea's voice was heard throughout the ship. "Set condition 1."

Adama got up from where they were sitting and reached for the phone. "Looks like you picked a hell of a day for a visit Madame President."

---

She did indeed pick a hell of a day. They found the Battlestar Pegasus, now she was sitting next to Bill listening as Admiral Cain recounted the Pegasus' tale of escape. Laura didn't know exactly what it was about the woman but she didn't like her. When the meeting was over it all became clear. Laura was stung with the harsh reality of military life. Cain would command the fleet. Laura would sit back and watch as her life ended, as she and Bill knew it.

Billy politely interrupted the leaders of the fleet to remind the President of her next meeting. Laura excused herself using her best politician's face. "I can't tell you how glad we are that you found us." She smiled and shook the woman's hand. "If you both excuse me." Bill watched as Laura followed Billy out of his quarters. Once she was gone he turned back to his commanding officer.

"The Secretary of Education?" Cain asked in a condescending tone of disbelief

"She's come a long way." Bill replied holding his tongue. He wanted to tell the precious Admiral to go frak herself that she didn't know the first thing about what they've been through since the attack. He wanted to tell her that Laura Roslin was way out of her league.

"It gives me no pleasure to take command Bill."

"Don't give it a moments thought Admiral."

Cain nodded and the officers exchanged salutes before she turned to leave.

When the hatch closed it took William Adama a moment to regain is composure. He knew this would be the end of Laura and Bill. It broke his heart to think about breaking his promise to Laura because of his duty. He didn't like this. Cain would never allow the two of them to see each. She was always the one in control and would expect him to remain on Galactica. The idea of not seeing Laura made his heart hurt and the breath catch in his throat. They were running out of time and this would certainly put an end to their evening get togethers. Cain wouldn't allow a fleet officer to have relations with a government official, let alone the President.

He had to find a way around it but he didn't know what that way was just yet. He would have to talk to her to explain what had to happen now. He didn't like what it had to be and he knew she wouldn't either. They had used their time together to draw strength from one another. Bill believed that strength was helping Laura to hold onto life. She would have to draw the strength from herself and he didn't know if she would be able to do that.

----

"So that's it. There's nothing we can do?" Laura had returned to the Galactica to talk to Bill after her meeting.

"She's my commanding officer Laura, I can't change Colonial Military rank structure but that's not what's bothering you is it." Bill put his arms around her waist, pulled her close and kissed her with dire passion.

Laura held onto the moment as long as she could drawing him farther into the kiss. Willing it not to end but that was unrealistic. When they parted she held onto the sensation as long as she could. She burned the kiss into her memory.

"I know what you're going to say. I knew the moment she stepped off that Raptor but you need to know that I will always love you no matter what comes between us." Laura told herself she wasn't going to cry but a lone tear rolled down her cheek. Bill caught and brushed it away.

"This isn't over we will find a way. I am here for you. I always will be if you need me just call." Bill stared into her eyes willing her to understand. He moved a way from Laura and after a long silence Laura spoke if only in a whisper.

"I did come here for another reason. I need to discuss the re-supply. Walk me to my shuttle?"

"Of course." Bill followed her to the hatch and the two walked to the docking bay.

The Pegasus has been re-supplying Galactica from it's own reserve for military operations. Admiral Cain assured me supplies would be distributed to the fleet.

"At least she's taking your calls. She won't enough answer mine." Laura was all business.

Bill internally smiled. "I'll speak with her."

"Thank you Commander. Laura reached up for the railing then turned around. "How are you holding up with all this?"

"I've been taking orders my entire career this is no different."

"I would be happy to have someone come in and take over and yet?"

"I don't want to go to the and yet?" _But I will when the time is right if it means saving you and this fleet._

"Bill, I have to…" She looked up with tears glistening in her eyes.

"I know. I'll see you soon. I promise and remember…"

"I know." Laura wanted to reach out and hold him in a warm embrace and let go of all her fear but she couldn't do that not here in the middle of the Galactica corridor. She had to be a good politician and climb aboard the shuttle with a smile on her face. There would be time to grieve and reflect later when she was alone in her quarters. Alone. She wasn't used to being alone since returning to the fleet but she would be alone tonight thanks to military decorum and Admiral Cain. Laura sat back in the seat and watched the stars drift by she felt like she had a hole in her heart. This was a good day but it certainly turned in a nightmare fast and it wasn't likely to go away anytime soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The nightmare that was Admiral Cain would not end. Laura sat back and watched as the Galactica and Pegasus Vipers went at each other this had to stop before the Cylons take advantage of it. This woman is dangerous and she has overstepped the line.

Laura Roslin stared at the two commanding officers Admiral Cain was arguing her case and clearly she just didn't get that the war was over.She didn't understand that the fleet needed to survive and not kill each other. After what seemed like an eternity the parties reached a compromise, for now, no one was going to die.

---

The room was silent for a long time after the Admiral stormed out. Laura was the first to break that silence. "Bill."

Adama looked up at the woman in front of him. Today was one of her "good days" even though she looked drawn and exhausted.

"How are you doing?"

"I miss you. I miss our arguments over what is good for the fleet. I miss your calming voice over the phone during cylon attacks. I miss your couch,"

Bill let out a chuckle, "and I miss your arms around me at night. I haven't sleptgood since Cain's arrival."

Laura moved from the desk and sat in a chair across the aisle from Bill. The two sat in silence enjoying their time alone together. "We don't have the luxury of what we miss right now."

Laura had been fighting the morality of what she was about to say since the Pegasus arrived. She hadn't decided what was better but she knew in her heart that Cain would remove Bill the first chance she had so she had to say it.

"This can only end in one way. You have to kill her." The statement was in a harsh whisper and Bill turned to her in a flash.

"What are you talking about?"

"I hate to lay this on you Bill but she's dangerous. You have to kill her before she kills you and leaves us all to die."

Bill stood up, walked over to Laura and knelt down. They had overcome some of Cain's ego when she assigned Adama to update the President on the military happenings but they weren't able to spend as much time together as they wanted. He took her hand in his. "Laura she wouldn't…"

"Bill listen to me please. I always knew that when I died the fleet would be safe because of you. I always knew that I would die first. Now I'm not so sure. She's dangerous she has to be stopped.

"The whole world has gone mad." Adama stated into thin air. He then looked back to Laura and squeezed her hand tightly. "Laura I will protect you I promise. I will protect the fleet you know that."

Laura smiled back. "I know."

"When was the last time you slept."

"I haven't been doing well at night the pain…" 

"is getting worse." Bill finished for her.

----

Laura's statements haunted Bill Adama, not having her near, knowing that she was slipping away and was alone at this moment all contributed to his recent restless nights. He knew she was right the moment he returned to Galactica and spoke with his "new" deck chief about their battle readiness. The guy was knowledgeable when it came to his planes but he wasn't military. Saul had confirmed that the Pegasus did have a civilian fleet. He also confirmed Laura's worst fears they left them for dead. Bill knew the moment Saul had said that to him that Laura was right. The love of his life was near death worrying about a million other things instead of worrying about the important things. She was worrying about his survival. Cain was coldhearted and he had no doubt that she would go to the lengths that Laura feared.

He needed to talk to her. He needed to see her. He needed her voice of reason in this firestorm of morality. When he stepped into her private quarters on Colonial One his heart stopped, she looked pale, drawn, and a ghost of the vibrant woman he loved. He pulled a chair next to the bed and reached for her hand while desperately fighting an internal battle to not relive what his wife had gone through and to hold it together to give Laura her much needed strength. Bill Adama knew at that moment that Laura Roslin's time in this life was coming to an end.

"Don't look so worried. I'm not dying today." She said in a weak voice with a forced smile on her face.

Bill squeezed her hand tighter. "Who's worried?"

"So what can I do for you?"

"Live." Bill pleaded.

"Bill, seriously."

"You were right about Cain, the Pegasus had a civilian fleet with her. Cain stripped them for parts, supplies, people."

Laura listened intently as her worst fears became true. The room suddenly felt smaller, Bill was her reason for living. Yes, she had to lead the people to Earth but Bill had become her reason to live now. She couldn't image life without him. "I wish I could say I was surprised but it's who she is. She playing for keeps. You got to do the same. As long as she's alive your survival is at risk. I know that.

Bill was surprised by Laura's willingness to cross the line, but if Cain were after Laura's job he would do no different. He would do anything to protect her, including die for her if only he could do that for her now instead of sitting there watching her at that moment. He watched as she struggled to breathe through her latest coughing fit. He never felt so helpless. He put an arm behind her back to help her sit up and held a class of water as she drank from it. The coughing finally stopped. He knew that she was right. He also knew that he wanted to hold her and make her last days the happiest of her life, even if the thought of those days caused him to feel as if he had been shot again. He took her hand and held in tightly in his.

"What can I get you?"

"A new body." Adama smiled and almost laughed when they joked about Laura as a blonde.

He had to give her hope. "I'll see you tomorrow?" It was more of a statement than a question. He needed to see her tomorrow because tomorrow he would have her back. He would hold her again. He had to leave and it pulled at his heart to do so. He walked out with tears forming in his eyes. He is stopped by the sound of her voice the sound of desperation. "Commander."

Adama wiped away the single tear that left his eye, he could not let her see him this way not today, it wasn't the time. He turned around and faced her. It was then that he saw the fear in her eyes. "She won't hesitate to kill you. Don't let her."

Adama was so moved and overcome with emotion that he couldn't speak he just nodded and left.

---

Laura laid in her makeshift bed silently praying to the gods to keep Bill safe during the battle. Waiting was always the hardest part. She missed him in every way. All she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and listen to the sound of his voice lull her to sleep. Instead, she laid in bed, living out her final days without the man she loved because of Admiral Cain. She didn't want Bill to have to kill her. It went against everything she believed in but it was the only way to keep the fleet safe. She couldn't do anything now except wait and see what the outcome would be. She hoped she would be spending the night in Bill Adama's armsand not visiting him in the morgue.

---

Bill Adama stared at the dradis console completely aware of what was going on around them but at the same time thinking of only one woman. Laura Roslin. His Laura, she looked so frail today her time was coming to an end sooner rather than later and he needed to win this battle so that he could be with her until the end.

---

He walked into the office with concern written on his face, she looked better than she did when he saw her earlier in the day but her appearance still wasn't encouraging. She had dark circles under her eyes, her skin was pale and the usual energy that embodied her was missing.

"Bill, thank the gods you're all right." Laura said with relief. Bill knelt down and drew her into a much-needed hug.

"I'm fine. How are you feeling?" He looked into her eyes to get the honest answer her eyes never lied. "I'm happy to see you alive and well. Thank the gods, you didn't need to do as I advised."

"Yes, thank the gods." Adama couldn't help but smile at her comment for a moment Laura Roslin was her same old self.

"Commander may I have a moment of your time for some official business?"

"Of course Madame President."

Adama watched as Billy handed Laura a velvet box. He noticed Laura smile once again. When she began to speak, it was obvious to him that her illness and emotions were beginning to get the best of her.

"Rumor has it I know very little about military protocol but I do believe that the commander of more than once ship is called an Admiral. Laura's smile widened and a giggle escaped her lips as she handed the box to Bill. "Congratulations Admiral Adama".

Bill took the box and held in his hand. This was her final gift to him. They had spoken about his quest to become an admiral and the continuous disappointment of being turned down during one of their late night chats but he never imaged that it would happen like this. The moment was bittersweet.

"Thank you Madame President. I never gave up hope. I just stopped trying to get these a long time ago."

"Never give up hope Bill."

Bill smiled at her. "Same goes for you Laura. I understand that you will not be coming over tonight."

The moment of truth came, could she keep her emotions in check? She wanted to be with him badly but the pain had gotten worse the last few days. She hadn't been sleeping through the night and she didn't want to subject Bill to her screams of agony. He had lived through it with a loved one once. She had no desire to drag him through it again. He had experienced enough of it with her before.

"Bill I can't ask you to…"

"Yes you can." Bill helped her to her feet. She was light as a feather now and she could hardly move on her own. "Billy is her bag ready?"

"Yes, sir."

"Bag?"

"I've waited two weeks to have the chance to be with you again. Nothing is going to take that away from me. We don't have to do anything."

"Bill I don't have the strength to…"

"Then let me stay. I can't live another night without you near me." Bill held her close and tipped her chin up so their eyes met and gave her a tender kiss. "Please."

Bill stayed the night on Colonial One. They spent the night holding each other. Laura didn't sleep much but she slept better than she had over the last two weeks since she was safely in his arms. The night was bittersweet for them both since they knew that the end was closer than they wanted to admit.

----

The beginning of the end came a week later. Bill sat in his quarters waiting for his daily call from Laura. The call he expected never came, instead of her soft inviting voice on the line Bill was greeted with the gruff and grim voice of Jack Cottle.

"Bill, you better get down here."

He had never run so fast in his life and when he entered sickbay he felt his knees go weak, his stomach turn and his heart break. She was lying there in a state of pain-induced delirium

"Bill, I'm sorry."

"How long."

"Hours, days… it's hard to say. I'm trying to make her comfortable. I offered morpha for the pain but she refused."

"Oh Laura…always the hero." Bill's comments were a whisper and he was clearly a broken man. He walked over and sat by her bedside. He took her hand and kissed it gently. "I'm here love. I'm here." Bill could feel the tears form in his eyes and roll down his cheeks. He didn't care who saw him now. This was the end, they would all understand.

Laura could feel his presence. She needed to stay strong. She tried to hold onto the memories of being with Bill while fighting other not so pleasant memories of the past.

"_You backed me into a corner Laura."_

"_What…wait a minute you had to be involved in order for it to happen. You son of a bitch, you would rather save your reputation than help women struggling with this decision, than help me!_

"_Laura you don't have a choice! You can't keep that baby!"_

"_It's my body. I can and I will Richard."_

---

Laura regained consciousness with a start that woke Bill from his own sleep.

"You're here." Laura voice was weak

"Where else would I be?"

"CIC as far away from me as possible."

"Laura… never. I'm with you until…" Bill's voice cracked, "the end."

"Won't be that much longer."

"Don't say that love." Bill brushed the hair out of her face. "What were you dreaming about just now? You woke up with a start."

"Just some painful memories of a pervious life. Bill nodded. "Do you have any regrets in life Bill?" 

"Too many to count." Bill's voice was a whisper and Laura saw the tears formed in his eyes begin to fall.

She needed to tell him that she loved him one last time before it was too late. "I have a confession to make. I love you William Adama and I wish I had enough time to show you how much." Laura began to cry and Bill gathered her in his arms as tears again escaped his eyes.

"I love you too.

---

She slipped into a coma later that night while in his arms. She said she wanted to feel him arms around her one last time. He read to her because it helped to have something to do during his vigil. She always liked the sound of his voice it gave him a sense of hope that maybe she would wake up. He sat by her side for two days. Leaving only to shower, address the crew about Laura's condition and check in with Saul. He returned to her and sat with her hoping for a miracle.

This vigil with Laura drudged up painful memories of Anne and her final hours.

**_Caprica- 18 months ago_**

"Commander, there isn't anything else we can do for her. I'm sorry sir. It won't be much longer."

Bill stepped inside the cold hospital room and sat next to his wife. He bent down and kissed her. "You fought a good fight, it's all right to go. I'll be alright."

He held her hand and listened to the sound of her breathing. In the end it was peaceful, she opened her eyes and smiled at him then closed her eyes and drew her last breath. She was no longer in pain now that was his only consolation."

---  
Bill Adama was brought out of the memory with tears threatening to fall from his eyes for Laura and for Anne by the sound of Baltar's voice. He was babbling something about the cylon baby and its blood. It didn't make sense but perhaps it was the miracle he was looking for. She wanted the baby terminated; the two men standing in the room with him knew that. Jack Cottle wasn't convinced it would work but looking at Bill's drawn features and tear stained eyes he would try anything. Baltar would too he didn't want her job.

Bill was asked to step out for the procedure. At first he protested but Cottle was able to reason with him. He asked for a moment with her before they took her in. Bill sat on the bed and took her hand in his as he always did.

"I know you said the baby was dangerous but I can't ignore this chance. This chance that we could be together and make this work. I'm sorry Laura I'm just not ready to give up on you I will try anything to not to have to lose you. You are my lover and my friend. I'm not ready to say goodbye." Tears run down his cheeks as he leaned down and kissed her one last time. He could only wait to see what happens it was out of his hands.

---

Laura was in her own comatose hell. Her mind flashed back to Caprica before the attacks.

Laura was working on her testimony for the select committee when she felt a horrible pain in her abdomen. _No it couldn't be, no please gods._

She excused herself and went to the ladies' room; once there her worst fears had become a chilling reality she was losing the baby. She sat in the stall struggling to hold back her tears. She knew it was over there was nothing she could do.

Then her mind flashed forward. She was now on the River Walk after her meeting with Stanz. . When she looked up she saw Baltar of all people with a tall blonde woman that she swore was a cylon but was it possible, was it real or was it just the pain. Laura wondered if all of this was part of her final journey apparently it wasn't because she woke up, and saw Baltar at her bedside. She tried to say something but was hushed. She turned the other way she was exhausted but she needed to look for him. Bill where was he. She noticed Jack checking the monitors and a nurse that left the room but Bill was nowhere to be found. She tried to ask Doc Cottle but was hushed again. Laura noticed movement on the other side of the bed where Baltar had been standing. She turned and saw his cobalt blue, tear-filled eyes staring back at her. He took her, bent down next her ear and whisper, "I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Epilogue

They learned to love again and live again. They spent as much time as they could together since her election loss. They were making up for lost time not realizing they were about to lose more time. The day the letter came ordering her to the surface. She had cried alone. Laura didn't have the heart to tell Bill that Baltar was unhappy with their relationship and ordering her to the surface for the good of the citizens of New Caprica. Fraking idiot. She broke it to him gently but he still didn't take it well. They decided to spend their last night together under the stars on the observation deck. It was a night full of lovemaking, laughter and tears, plenty of tears.

Bill held Laura close as she traced circles on his chest. "Bill, I don't want to leave."

"I don't either but we have to return to reality sometime." He smiled "I'm so happy to have you back in my life."

"You're going to make me cry again."

"I'm sorry." Bill drew her closer and kissed away the falling tears.

"New Caprica."

"Yeah, that's what they're calling it. I still think it's a disaster waiting to happen."

"I agree."

"But you're going down there anyway."

"Not willingly, so let's not fight about it and enjoy our last night."

Bill kissed her with passion and when they broke the kiss Bill looked at her. "This will not be the last time I do that. You will see me again Laura. I will visit you. I will find a way. He can't keep us apart. I will always protect you.

---

The days and nights on New Caprica were normally cold, colder now that the cylons arrived, Laura laid in her tent praying that Bill would come back for them and soon. His said he would always protect her and she believed him. They had a very open relationship before the cylons came. He came and visited as much as he could and they used their time wisely. Laura couldn't help the irony of it all now. Every time Bill came she would always wonder if it would be the last time she'd see him… the last time. _"I will always protect you. I love you Laura. Never give up hope." _ These were the things he would say each day in her head, and each day she tried to draw strength from them. He would return…the question was when. One thing was a certainty, she wasn't ready to say good-bye to her lover and friend. No matter what the cylons wanted from her she always saw his face and heard his voice and that is what got her through the hell that had become her life**—**the hell that had become all the survivors lives on New Caprica.


End file.
